We did practically everything we could think of, including asking a million friends how to handle bedtime. Both our kids were capable of going to bed individually in a room alone. And during desperate times we would separate them, but this was not a long term solution by any means. We started realizing our younger daughter had some mild sensory issues and started using a weighted blanket which helped some. But the battle carried on, often until 10 pm or later. It was exhausting.
After two years of trying all sorts of things, we tried one more trick, and it finally seems to be working! I’m not saying this is the cure to all bedtime battles, but this worked for us.
The Right Size Bed
First, our oldest got too big for her toddler bed. We moved her into a twin bed. You really cannot snuggle a toddler in a toddler bed unless you are a small parent or you have a super sturdy toddler bed. We realized she needed the comfort of someone being there with her for a few minutes and no not just sitting next to her bed.
A Bedtime Snack
Next, I realized from another friend the importance of bedtime snacks. So right before bed, I usually pass out a couple of Graham crackers and a small cup of milk or a small bowl of cereal or a banana. Then we brush teeth. It really made a difference putting a toddler to bed with a topped-off tank.
Music (or maybe a book!)
Then the last piece of the puzzle. Music. Yes, we started playing baby lullabies. My husband and I had tried that before, as well as singing to them, but apparently, that wasn’t the right music for them. Who knew? For my kids, they needed a specific Pandora station. Maybe your kids need bedtime stories, books aloud, songs sang from mommy or daddy or a certain kind of lullabies. Keep trying.
So yes. Now it takes me about 20 extra minutes to get my kids to bed. I’m okay with that. It shows them I care enough to stop my world and make them a priority. It gives us time together that isn’t distracted by television, phones, screens, toys, or anything else. Sometimes I ask them what their favorite part of the day and what do they want to do tomorrow was. Occasionally, we still get wild and have a bedtime party, but otherwise, this is working well, and our bond with both girls in increasing.
For those of you in the midst of bedtime battles, don’t give up hope! There’s a good chance you just haven’t found the right solution yet. Just keep trying different things and different combinations together, and you’ll get there! What works for your family?
