Looking Forward To When the Kids Are Older

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Earlier today I was at the beach with my two children, ages 4 and 1. We got sandy. We got salty. We dug and collected and swam and laughed. It was fun. And even though it took me at least a half-hour of diligent preparations ahead of time and at least a half-hour of cleaning up and putting away once we arrived back home – all for about an hour of beach-y enjoyment – it was worth it. An hour of peaceful fun with two small children is worth the changing of clothes, the peeling off of wet bathing suits, the sunscreen applications, the mad dash of gathering up buckets and shovels and towels while wrangling two tiny bodies who want to stay and play despite the approaching nap time. And so I got through it all, mostly happily, because we had to spend the morning doing something and this was a pretty great something.

But, as we made our sweaty, squirmy, sand-covered exit from the beach today, I couldn’t help but steal longing glances at all the mothers of older children. They sat serenely in their beach chairs, watching as their children splashed in the ocean and built sandcastles. And on the way home, I dreamily listed all the things I was looking forward to when my kids were older:

  • Sitting in a beach chair at the beach. I don’t even currently own a beach chair because I know just how little it would be used.
  • Getting my own ice cream cone on occasion. It’s not that I mind just getting a cup to share with my non-spoon wielding toddler, but sometimes a gal just wants her very own deliciously guilty pleasure.
  • Bringing my children to the library and browsing the shelves at our leisure. Don’t get me wrong – we adore the library – but our visits mostly consist of me chasing a toddler who is intent on taking all the books off all the shelves while simultaneously keeping the eyes in the back of my head trained on the preschooler so I know his whereabouts.
  • Going out to a family dinner without having to pack the obligatory keep-the-toddler-happy-until-the-grilled-cheese-arrives Cheerios.
  • Leaving a restaurant at the end of a family meal without having to squat under the table cleaning up said Cheerios, as well as crumbs, bits of grilled cheese sandwiches, and torn-up napkins.
  • Going to the playground as a supervisor and cheerer-on versus as a reluctant playmate who bumps her head 50 times while quickly crawling underneath the playground structure to keep up with a 1-year-old.
  • Allowing some leniency for bedtimes (especially summer bedtimes) when especially fun or special opportunities present themselves. Tired doesn’t look good on my little ones, so we’re currently very, very married to our routine.
  • Sitting and watching a movie with both my kids on a rainy day (we haven’t started screen time for our toddler yet). Or playing a movie for both my kids to watch together while I squeeze in a shower or a workout or catch up on my email.
  • Saying good-bye to naptime. I know, I know – I’m in the minority here. But I really do look forward to having some more freedom in our days once we’re no longer tethered to the toddler’s naptime (I mentioned I was a bit of a routine queen, right?).
  • Cooking dinner that everyone eats. That is not pasta.
  • Letting my kids out in the yard by themselves! Oh, the freedom!
  • Dropping off both kids at my parents’ house for a sleepover. My son has been sleeping over for a couple years now, so I know the joy of an entire night off. My daughter (who isn’t winning any “Best Sleeper” prizes) hasn’t quite been deemed ready.

I could go on and on.

I could also list everything I love about being in our current stage. Because there is so much to love about it. But sometimes, a gal needs to give herself permission to acknowledge the hardships and to look forward. To buy a beach chair marked down on clearance and just tuck it away. For someday.

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Elizabeth Bettencourt
Elizabeth Bettencourt holds a BFA in Theatre and a BS in Secondary English Education from the University of Rhode Island, a Masters in Reading & Literacy from Endicott College, and a Doctorate in Education from Northeastern University. Prior to becoming a stay-at-home parent full time, Liz taught English Language Arts and theatre at Plymouth South High School, where she also served as the ELA department head and the drama club advisor. Liz has also worked as an instructional coach and education consultant specializing in literacy instruction and differentiated instruction. In addition to her work as a mother, Liz currently directs theatre productions for Massassoit Community College and serves on the board of directors for New Bedford Festival Theatre. The majority of her time, however, is spent raising her son James and daughter Muriel with the help of her super supportive spouse, Matt. Liz is excited to be a part of the team at Providence Moms Blog, where she hopes to refresh her writing skills and reflect on this crazy and beautiful thing that is motherhood.