I’m Tired of Living in Fear: the Need for Gun Control

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April 10, 2018

I’ve sat down to write this post on multiple occasions. Unfortunately, there’s been more than one relevant time for it. I didn’t want to rehash the gun control debate; it has been done and it is being done day after day. What I wanted, however, was to share was my honest feelings about mass shootings and the seemingly exclusive American problem of gun violence.

Those who know me know my position on guns. I have shot one and yes, it was fun. But I don’t own one. I respect those who choose for home protection, self-protection, and for target shooting. I don’t really understand the sport of hunting, but I don’t judge anyone for doing that either. And I am, however, pro “gun control.”

For a long time now I’ve felt I was in the minority. But the truth is, the majority of Americans DO support stronger gun control measures. In a recent poll done by IPSOS and reported by NPR, 94 percent of Americans support background checks for ALL gun purchases. Ninety-two percent support adding those with mental illnesses to the federal background check system. Raising the legal age to purchase guns from 18 to 21, 82 percent; banning assault-style weapons, 72 percent. So why do we (I say “we” because I am part of that majority of Americans) feel unheard?

The gun lobby speaks loudly about protecting the second amendment, even though the highest poll numbers recorded say only 42 percent of Americans own a gun. Of course, without a national registry, there is no way of knowing these numbers for sure. Some gun lobbyists claim it’s “patriotic” to defend the Second Amendment and furthermore to defend the Constitution, the very document that proclaims and protects our freedoms. And at times I’ve almost felt bullied into believing that I loved my country less or didn’t value my freedom as much. I have asked myself repeatedly, “is it wrong to suggest that we amend the right to bear arms? Am I stripping away the freedoms of law-abiding citizens when I ask our government to do something about the gun violence in this country?”

I’ve sat with this idea for a while and what I keep coming back to is, I don’t feel free. I feel afraid. I felt it after Vegas, I felt after Newtown, I felt it after Columbine! I feel it every day. When I am at church or in a movie theater and the back door swings open, I look over my shoulder…AFRAID. A teenager wearing a trench coat at the mall has me mentally searching for the nearest exit in case we need to run. And every morning when I put my daughter on the bus, I pray for her safe return and I can honestly say, a school full of armed teachers would only make me pray harder.

I imagine this is what citizens of war-torn countries or those living in places with civil unrest experience. Their daily lives overshadowed by the constant threat of violence and the realization that at any moment, they could become victims of an act of terrorism. Because make no mistake, a mass shooting IS terrorism. It doesn’t matter if you have a pistol on your hip or an arsenal at home. We are ALL at risk. Why is this so hard for us to accept?

I have so many questions and I don’t have all of the answers, but after Parkland I have a little more hope. I see more people listening, more constructive conversations being had. And even a little compromise. I look at the Stoneman Douglas students and I see an uprising, a fierce mobility. Some say they’re too young, they don’t know anything and they’re being foolish. But I disagree.

Coincidentally, the sermon in church Sunday was titled, “A Foolish Proclamation That Saves.” And that’s what I see. These kids are proclaiming they will be the last. They’re saying enough is #ENOUGH. And in the wise words of my pastor, I do believe, “It’s the fools who will change the world.”

Moms in the Arts: An Interview with Melissa Bowler

By

Alicia

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April 9, 2018

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At Providence Moms Blog, we are thrilled that our partnership with RISD Continuing Education allows us to bring this interview to our readers.

Melissa Bowler is a comedian and a creator. She is currently the Executive Director of the Providence Improv Guild, a Simulation Specialist at Women and Infants Hospital, and a Communication and Teamwork Consultant for various companies and universities – all positions she has either created herself or helped to create. I had the pleasure of taking an improv class from Melissa about 6 years ago. At the time there was no formal school to take improv classes in Providence, so Melissa (you guessed it!) created her own curriculum and was offering classes. I have followed her career since then and while Melissa may be kind enough to call me a friend, at this point I am probably more of a fan.

In addition to her varied and accomplished professional life, she has also created a small person: her son, Luc. I sat down to chat with her at Panera to see how she makes it all work – while staying funny.

PMB: We could talk all day about everything that you do. First, let’s talk about the Providence Improv Guild or PIG. You’re currently the executive director, but you also were a founding member. Can you explain what exactly it is?
MB: PIG is a community of comedians who work together to make amazingly funny shows 3 nights a week, a comedy school focused on improv and sketch, and paid opportunities to teach and perform. We’re all about making the art while also finding ways to make that art make money for our community members.

Members of Providence Improv Guild onstage Providence Moms Blog — Melissa, front left, performing on the PIG stage

PMB: So how does improv comedy make you a better mom?
MB: I think in my ability to “Yes And” my own son. [Note: “Yes And” is the golden rule of improv. It suggests that the participant should always accept what their scene partner has said and then expand on it.] So when he says something that is just ridiculous, like four-year-olds do, by just sort of playing along we have fewer fights than if I didn’t improvise with him. Often times he’s only combative when I’m not playing.

When I’m like, “let’s go brush your teeth,” and he’s like, “I don’t want to brush my teeth,” I think, “okay, I gotta make this a game.” And so the toothbrush has a voice. [Melissa suddenly sounds like a combination of a muppet and Larry David.] Ahhh….Brush your teeth, brush your teeth. [Her regular voice seamlessly resumes.] I think it makes me more playful and I think that it avoids conflict. And it’s not everybody’s parenting style. But for me, I’m way more comfortable. I don’t like conflict. I don’t like pulling “because I said so,” because I remember being frustrated by that as a kid. I’d much rather distract him or explain why I have this rule to the best of my ability.

I try to stay playful and find the game work of motherhood.

PMB: How does being a mom make you better at improv comedy?
MB: For me, it gives me that much more life experience. There’s so much stuff that before you’re a parent you just are so ignorant of. And then when you become a parent you’re like, “oh wowwww!” Like I remember thinking I would never take my kid to the grocery store without shoes. Before I had kids I was like, “that would never happen to me.” But then when you’re a parent you’re like, “they’re like, kind of clean. This is fine. They’re not currently crying and I have a two-minute window to get groceries for tonight.”

It’s something that I just couldn’t relate to until it happened. Then once I was in it I was like “oh wow! I was always super judgmental to parents before I became one.” Now that I am one, when you see a fellow mom handling a breakdown in Target you’re like, “I see you sister. I know what this is and it’s okay. You’re gonna get through this.”

PMB: Running PIG is just one of your three careers. How do you balance all these moving pieces with being a single mom?
MB: Umm…great question! It’s not easy. Having split custody helps. Luc’s dad has 50-50 custody. He’s a very good presence in his life. And when he’s there I don’t have to worry. It’s different I think than if I was a single mom and putting him in daycare. I think there’d always be, “I need to go pick him up.” He’s still your responsibility at the end of the day. But I dropped him off this morning and his dad’s gonna pick him up. And now I’m off the clock until Sunday morning.
Which as much as I miss him, and it’s super hard that adjustment of 50-50 going from seeing your baby every single day to only seeing your baby halftime. And every time we have a transition day, I’m like, “I’m really sad tonight.” And my boyfriend’s like “You know why!”
With that said, I put sort of extra work in there when I don’t have my kid. And sort of try to balance out so that I work when he’s at school and then when he comes home and I do have him, I’m able to be a full-time mom. So that’s how I balance it. I rotate through which multiple jobs I do. So when he’s here I work at Women and Infants and then I’m a stay at home mom – those two careers. And then when he’s not with me I do all my other jobs, so it kind of balances out like that.

PMB: That’s impressive.
MB: I am slowly driving myself crazy. My doctor is like, “please cut down on the things you do.” So I’m doing it, but not that well, according to my doctor.

PMB: In October the New York Times published an article entitled “Moms at the Mike, on the Verge of a Breakthrough in Comedy,” which is basically about how moms are becoming more prominent in comedy and might actually be funny.
MB: What an amazing new concept. That’s so ridiculous when you think about it. In my family, my mom is so much funnier. She’s what gave me my comedy. My best stuff is just imitating her.

PMB: Do you think there’s any explanation as to why suddenly moms in comedy are becoming more prominent?
MB: I think it’s because it’s also become more prominent for men to do more of the parenting so women have more time to pursue this sort of stuff. I think a generation ago men didn’t do a lot of the parenting. That just was the norm. It didn’t mean you were a bad dad, you just weren’t as hands-on with the kids. Now it’s just more and more the trend towards equality and equal division and emotional labor. There are articles that my boyfriend will share with me about emotional labor and ask me, “did you see this about emotional labor?” and I’m like, “You know what this is!” I don’t think any man in the generation before us would know what emotional labor is or even identify as a feminist. I feel like identifying as a feminist is a newer thing for men to do. I think that is the wave that’s actually given us more room in our schedules to pursue this and feel like we have we have more of a right to say, “No, no, I’m gonna do this too.”

PMB: Does Luc think you’re funny?
MB: You know, I know he does cause he laughs. But if I asked him, “am I funny?” he’d be like, “no, you’re not. I am.” He knows he’s funny, for sure. I tell him a lot. He’s got this natural gift. But I think if I asked him who was funny, he’d never admit to me that he thought I was funny. Even though I see him laugh. I can get him to the hiccup laugh. I’m like, “I know you think I’m funny.” But I don’t think he would ever give that to me. He knows that being funny is important to me just like I know it’s important to him. And he’s like,“I don’t know, lady. Sometimes.”

PMB: How can moms get involved with improv comedy?

MB: Start with a class. Level 1 is really and truly for any person. And a lot of people stop there. They take Level 1 and they’re like, “okay, that was super fun and I would do that again some time!” and that’s it. And some people are like, “This is a new passion of mine and I want to pursue this and this is has been a missing thing in my life.” And they keep going. I think both are really valid. On the one hand, even if it’s just Level 1 and that’s it, you’re still getting the cathartic adult conversation time that is so desperately needed for moms. You’re also getting an outlet that is very accessible. Anybody can do anything because you’re not a mom when you’re up there. You could be a ketchup bottle. You could be a linebacker. You could be a baby. Because with improv if you say “that’s what I am,” that’s what I am. And so it’s so fun and freeing that way.

And I think it’s so easy to succeed with improv and get to a functioning level with a team. That level comes quick. So you have that nice payoff of “oh wow. I just made a room full of people laugh at a thing I said. Cool.” And that I think is – I don’t know, you don’t get the pay off at the gym.

And if you do pursue it as a new passion then even better. Because the world needs more women who feel confident about their comedic skills and are pursuing that. It doesn’t need more funny women. We’re already out there.

At Providence Moms Blog, we are passionate about the amazing multi-dimensionality of motherhood and aim to support mothers in their role as “mom” while encouraging them to honor all the other aspects of their identity. We believe that the arts are an essential part of what makes us human and encourage all moms to make the arts a part of their own and their children’s lives. We are proud to partner with Rhode Island School of Design’s Continuing Education Program for this series.

RISD Continuing Education educates students of all ages in art and design with high quality, accessible programs, courses, lectures, and workshops.

RISD CE offers courses for adults in the fine and applied arts and design at beginner, intermediate, and advanced levels. You’ll find a range of options to explore the world of art and design and RISD’s flexible course schedules meet the needs of today’s adult learners and their busy lifestyles. Options include 3-hour and weekend workshops, 6-12 session courses, and full certificate programs.

RISD’s Young Artist Program (ages 6-17) helps students make their mark as they create, build, make, and dream big through courses in 2D, 3D, digital art and design, as well as STEAM courses.
Saturday courses are offered year-round, and week-long vacation camps are offered in the winter, spring, and summer. Teens can enroll in one of four certificate programs to broaden their skills or prepare for a future in art and design.

Poop: An Ever-Present Part of Mom Life

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Kim Votruba-Matook

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April 8, 2018

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Family and friends offered an obscene amount of advice while I was pregnant with kiddo #1. As I reflect upon being a mom of two kids now, a boy and a girl, what I wish someone, anyone would have told me was…

I would have a serious conversation about poop every…single…day.

Pregnant me may have laughed you out of the room. But UGH, it is SO true.

During the first week of your little’s life, you leave the hospital with a chart that tells you what the kid’s poop should look like. Personally, I liked this; it provided a sole point of structure and guidance as we were adjusting to a new normal. Then after that first week, the chart becomes obsolete and there is now no guidebook. So the conversation turns to, “Hey, does this poop look OK?” Every. Day. Aside from crying, your newborn’s poop becomes one of the few indicators of well-being. You will examine it closely. Show it to other people to get their opinion. Probably take photos of it to show the doctor. And then forget to delete it from your phone.

Then as your newborn grows, and your baby starts trying solid food, you will dread changing diapers. Depending on what goes in the front end, new smells will come out the back end. The baby will wake up crying in the middle of the night and it’ll look like a brown bomb went off in the kid’s crib. You may be impressed for the hot second before you realize you will need to clean this all up before anyone can go back to bed.

After it happens once, you will begin packing the baby’s bag in anticipation of another fecal explosion. It really isn’t fun to deal with anywhere, let alone out in public. You may very well live in fear of poop for a while. The silver lining, though: it helps parents get really good at contingency planning.

Then two years or thereabouts down the road comes potty training. By this time, your kid may be cutely saying “bathroom words” like “poop,” “potty” and, a favorite in our house, “nugget.” While these new words are fun for your kids, they do not necessarily translate to action and actual use of the toilet. Here lies the struggle and the conversation turns into the frequently and frustratingly repeated question, “Do you need to poop, sweetheart?” Followed by the (not so) gentle suggestion, “Try pooping on the potty, my little love.” Eventually, it all works itself out (a terrible pun, but I am not deleting it.)

Once your kids are using the toilet, you may think you’re done with your craptastic discussions. You would be wrong, though. Now, you become a bum-wiper. This may feel like a regression back to diaper changing because you are again digging deep to clean your kid’s rump. It’s important that you power through, though. In an effort to find independence, your toddler/preschooler may want to take care of it all themselves. The result of this may be finding brown streaks here and there around the house followed by the faint smell of something gross that you can’t quite place…nor do you really want to. Then the conversation becomes focused on the question, “did you wipe?” followed by, “did you wipe well?” Just wipe their bums; it’s less work in the long run.

Then as your kids enter more social environments, you may find “potty words” becoming insults. Your child may be called a “poop” or a “butt” by a “friend” or vice versa. That language will rear its ugly head in your home at some point. So the discussion now turns to a totally new issue which is not bathroom related AT ALL. After all those open, frequent and tiring discussions about “poop,” it now becomes inappropriate to use within a certain context. It’s a little mind-boggling.

Parents need to deal with this ever-evolving poop, literally and figuratively. If I had a heads up on that, I would have appreciated it. So for all you moms-to-be out there and those currently working through one of these seasons of life, stay strong! It totally stinks (ha!), but you’re not alone! Everyone poops…and sometimes, someone has got to clean it up…and talk about it until it becomes a non-issue. Good luck with your fecal frustrations; we are sending you virtual hugs and air fresheners.

That Time My IUD Fell Out

By

Anonymous

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April 6, 2018

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“Is that what I think it is?”

Clear as day. There it was. My IUD, on a piece of toilet paper. I sat there in the bathroom (at work of all places) staring at it.

Panic set in. When did the IUD fall out? How long had it been out of place? Could I be pregnant? It was unlikely given where I was in my cycle, but my mind jumped to those stories of cycles that were wonky and surprise pregnancies! (Okay, okay…I’ve probably watched one too many episodes of “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”).

After the shock wore off I dashed to call my gynecologist. They indicated that IUDs can be inexplicably ousted from your womb (albeit, not very frequently…) after you’ve had it for 18 months. I had certainly signed all of the pages of paperwork that told me this could happen, but I remember reading it and thinking, “How could anyone lose one of these and not know or feel it come out?” Well, let me tell you – I get it. If it wasn’t on a piece of toilet paper I may never have noticed.

Lucky for me, the very next day I got my brand new IUD. If you’ve had an IUD implanted, well, it’s not a particularly fun or comfortable experience. And I’d been looking forward to the 5 years of not having to worry about getting another.

My doctor indicated that it was uncommon for an IUD to fall out a year and a half after insertion. She recommended an ultrasound to verify the placement of the new one and ensure nothing else was going on, and she ran a pregnancy test for good measure. I’m happy to report that everything came out clear.

My period is still present (many women with IUDs stop menstruating) but much lighter. I actually appreciate having the monthly reassurance that I’m not pregnant. But my cycles are generally longer with the IUD, which sometimes makes me nervous, even if my monthly string check goes off without a hitch. So, since this happened, I’ve peed on I don’t know how many pregnancy tests to quell my nerves.

So, why do I still opt for an IUD? Because it’s the best contraceptive fit for me right now. After taking the birth control pill for 10+ years, I have zero desire to go down that road again. We used condoms between our two children. While that worked contraceptive-wise, my periods became incredibly heavy after my firstborn and even heavier after my second. I also used to experience a monthly knock-you-on-the-butt brand of migraines. Like clockwork, I’d suffer from a migraine the day before my period and often another during my period. Now period-related migraines make an appearance no more than two to three times per year. And, I love not having to think about contraception choices for 5 years. (In theory at least..) Oh, and spontaneous sex is a nice benefit too.

One day in the not-so-distant future I foresee my husband getting a vasectomy. But to be honest, I will likely keep my IUD for the reasons listed above. I’ll take a lighter period sans migraines, over a super duper tampon plus a pad kind of period.

I may worry, but when I look back, no matter what form of contraception we have used through the years, I’ve always fretted a tad. I mean, they made a whole show called “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant!” (Of which I’ve watched too many episodes). But, short of that vasectomy, my level of worry likely won’t change no matter what we choose for contraception. We’ve weighed the costs and benefits, and an IUD is the best choice for me ….even if I sometimes get anxious waiting for Aunt Flo’s monthly visit and walk out of the pharmacy with a 3 pack of pregnancy tests… just to be sure.

SWENext DesignLab Inspires Providence Girls to Design, Create, and Engineer

By

Tracy Slater

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April 5, 2018

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Thank you to the Society of Women Engineers (SWE) for allowing us to bring you information on this great event.

“You can’t be what you can’t see. SWENext DesignLab shows girls that they can change the world with engineering” ~ Randy Freedman, Director of Student Programs at SWE

An exciting engineering event for middle schoolers is coming to Providence! SWENext DesignLab is for girls in grades 6-8, their families and teachers. The event is designed to show girls the creative and innovative facets of engineering.

SWENext DesignLab will take place Saturday, April 21, 2018, 2:00-5:00 p.m. at the Rhode Island Convention Center as part of WE Local Providence, the Society of Women Engineers’ (SWE) local conference and career fair. Part of SWE’s mission is to engage the future generation of women engineers, inspiring young ladies to pursue their interests in science and technology and giving them the resources to do so.

So many young girls show an interest in STEM, yet only 29 percent of bachelor’s degrees in science, technology, engineering and math (STEM) are earned by women. Despite performing at similar levels as their male classmates, girls’ confidence and interest in engineering and math experience a decline during middle school. What’s more is that young girls don’t correlate helping people and making a difference in the world with STEM – and these are the top factors that include career motivation in young girls!

But, girls can change the world and help people with STEM. And programs like SWENext DesignLab Providence are vital in the effort to change the perception of engineering and show girls that they can be engineers too.

SWENext DesignLab Providence is divided into two parts: the Middle School Girls Program (grades 6-8) and the Parent /Educator Program (PEP).

At the Middle School Girls Program, attendees will engage in STEM activities and hear more about the different types of engineering jobs and how they can make a difference in the world as an engineer. They’ll meet women engineers from the Society of Women Engineers and learn about what they do. Girls’ siblings are welcome to come to the event, too.

At the PEP program, parents and teachers will also engage in engineering activities and learn how they can further encourage their girls and students to pursue their interests in STEM. Parents and teachers are top influencers in career motivation in young girls, making them crucial to encouraging more girls to pursue engineering.

All attendees will receive local resources including information on camps, competitions, scholarships and more. The cost of the girls’ programs is $7, and the cost of the PEP program is $5. Register Here.

The Society of Women Engineers (SWE), founded in 1950, is the world’s largest advocate and catalyst for change for women in engineering and technology. The not-for-profit educational and service organization is the driving force that establishes engineering as a highly desirable career aspiration for women. To ensure SWE members reach their full potential as engineers and leaders, the Society offers unique opportunities to network, provides professional development, shapes public policy and provides recognition for the life-changing contributions and achievements of women engineers. As a champion of diversity, SWE empowers women to succeed and advance in their personal and professional lives. For more information about the Society, please visit www.swe.org or call 312.596.5223.

SWENext DesignLab also features two awards opportunities for Providence high schoolers. The SWENext Local Innovator Awards Program recognizes the outstanding young women shaping the future of SWE by developing an engineering identity in themselves and others. The SWENext Northrop Grumman High School Community Award Program encourages students to use STEM to solve real-world problems and make a difference in the Providence community.

“You can’t be what you can’t see. SWENext DesignLab shows girls that they can change the world with engineering,” said Randy Freedman, Director of Student Programs at SWE. “SWENext DesignLab in Providence is one of five local outreach events the Society of Women Engineers is hosting across the country in 2018. SWENext DesignLab is an important part of the effort to close the gender gap in STEM and retain more women in these positions.”

Best Bets for Springtime Fun in ‘Lil Rhody

By

Laura Tancrelle

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April 5, 2018

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A miracle has occurred: springtime has finally arrived in ‘lil Rhody after what seemed like the longest winter ever. I know you’re all itching to get out of your houses and see the sun again, or even just interact with some other humans, so I’ve rounded up the most promising springtime events our state has to offer this season, from food to shopping to festivals.

RI Kids Consignment Sale

My level of excitement for this sale parallels my children’s excitement for Christmas. That might be a slight exaggeration, but seriously, this sale is awesome. In my experience, the best selection is in clothing for children under 5, toys, and baby equipment, but they do have many other categories of items as well. The sale is so big that it takes up two soccer fields at the Wide World of Sports. I would recommend going when you have time to browse because it’s definitely better to take your time here to pick through the sixty thousand (!) items that they have for sale. Since consigners set their own prices, some pieces are a bit overpriced and some are total steals, so you’ll want to look closely. My favorite find at their fall sale was a pair of boys snow pants for four dollars (because who wants to spend any more than that on snow pants??)

RI Kids Consignment Sale
Thursday, April 5, 10am-7pm, Saturday, April 7, 10am-3pm, Sunday, April 8, 9am-12pm
1610 Davisville Rd, North Kingstown, RI, 02852
Free admission

Wheeler School Clothing and More Sale

This is another consignment sale that I look forward to and visit each year. It’s a fundraiser for the Wheeler School that’s been happening annually for the last 70 years! The major draw here for me is clothes for myself, although they also have children’s clothes, housewares, toys, sports equipment, and more. Every year I find at least a few worthwhile items, and one or two are usually wardrobe staples for me for the next few months. Wheeler parents staff the event and keep it running smoothly, like the time last year where I witnessed one approach a patron who was (discreetly) trying clothes on in the aisle and quickly usher her into the dressing room.

Wheeler School Clothing and More Sale
Thursday, April 12, 10-8, Friday, April 13, 12-8, Saturday, April 14, 10-3
407 Brook St, Providence RI
Free admission

Big Burger Blowout with RI Food Fights

With this crazy good deal, you pay one low price and get a passport for a burger at each of at least 20 places during the month of May. You’re basically paying a dollar (or less!) a burger. Seems too good to be true, but another PMB contributor assures me it’s not. She’s been posting pictures from her trips to check out March’s sandwich locations, and making it look super tasty and doable with three little kids (I know, impressive).

Big Burger Blowout with RI Food Fights
May 1 – May 31
20 dollars per passport

Wicked Tulips Flower Farm

This is a truly unique and quintessentially springtime activity. Visit the tulip farm to pick your own beautiful flowers to take home. They also keep a ‘show field’ for taking photos and tiptoeing through the tulips even when their supply for sale starts to run low. This event runs for only a couple weeks each spring (TBD as of this posting, but in my experience, it’s usually around Mother’s Day) and it’s crazy popular, so make sure you reserve a time online before going to the farm to avoid disappointment.

Wicked Tulips Flower Farm
Days and times TBA
90 Brown Ave, Johnston, RI
Ticket prices and stem prices TBA

Party for the Planet at Roger Williams Park Zoo

I can’t count the number of times that I wished for a zoo trip this winter. RWP has a great line up for April vacation this year. Activities range from animal encounters to education with keepers, entertainers, and music and arts activities, all keeping with the theme of conservation. If weather allows, Food Truck Friday will be starting for the summer at the end of the week!

Party for the Planet
April 16-20, 10am-3pm
1000 Elmwood Ave, Providence RI
Free with zoo admission

Newport Daffodil Days Festival

Another option for school vacation week, this celebration of spring lasts for eight days. Events range from a princess storytime to a dog parade to an opportunity for kids to watch Newport’s City Forester demonstrate tree climbing and his bucket truck!

Newport Daffodil Days Festival
April 14-22
Ticket prices vary

Taco Fest PVD

Trick question: do you like tacos? I’m 99% sure the answer is yes, so you’ll probably be pumped to hear about a Cinco de Mayo celebration downtown. Lots of food trucks, alcoholic beverages, kids activities, music, and something called a Rock N Roll Yardsale are all part of the festivities.

TacoFest PVD
Saturday, May 5, 11am-6pm
260 Westminster St, Providence
Free admission

SpringFest at Misquamicut State Beach

I’ve been looking forward to some beach time pretty much since November, but weather warm enough for a dip usually takes its sweet time arriving in the Ocean State. This event gives you a reason to visit the beach before the season officially starts without feeling like you’re doing a penguin plunge. SpringFest includes carnival rides, a classic car show, craft sale, kids activities, and live music.

SpringFest
Friday, May 11, 5pm-11pm, Saturday, May 12, 11am-11pm, Sunday, May 13, 11am-5pm
Misquamicut State Beach, Westerly
Tickets $8, children under 4 free

Hopefully one or two of these springtime events sparked your interest – hope to see you there!

How to Bring a Little One to the Ballet

By

Guest Author

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April 4, 2018

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We are so grateful that through our partnership with Festival Ballet Providence, we are able to bring you this post by Kirsten Evans.

Festival Ballet Providence Little Ones Providence Moms Blog — Charlotte Ballet, featuring Alessandra Ball James. Photo credit: Jeff Cravotta.

Live performance art is increasingly abundant in the Creative Capital, but immersing young children in this culture can feel a bit daunting. Will they understand it? Will they enjoy it? Will they ever sit still? If you are wondering how to expand your child’s imagination with a live ballet performance, Festival Ballet Providence dancer Kirsten Evans has the ultimate guide to planning your trip to the theater!

Familiarize. Read the book, see the film, tell the story, act it out! Acquainting your child with the story being told will ensure they follow along, allowing them to fully experience the fun of live performance without wondering what’s going on. If your little one is a first-timer, it’s especially helpful to start with a “story ballet,” or one that depicts a classic fairytale like FBP’s Little Mermaid, so they feel comfortable with the characters before seeing them onstage.
Explain. Now that your kids know the story, teach them how ballet dancers tell the story with their bodies instead of using words. This way, they will know to look out for theatrical movements, facial expressions, and miming during the show. By the end of the performance, they will be total experts on the subject!
Grab some snacks! True of any outing with a pack of littles, having something to munch on can quell a mid-show tantrum when hunger strikes. Bonus points if get an extra cookie to steal your own bite of during intermission!
Hit the bathrooms first. Arriving at the theater a little early (we recommend 30 minutes) provides enough time for a potty run or two before settling into your seats. It’s tough to enjoy the performance when there’s important business to take care of!
“Hype it up!” As FBP dancer and Providence nanny Tegan Rich suggests, “A week or two before the show, get the kids excited about the ballet by chatting with them about it.” Tegan adds, “It gives them something to look forward to.” You might ask them what they know about the story or which characters they look forward to seeing on stage. Show them how eager you are to see the ballet, too! Anticipation is half the fun.

Charlotte Ballet featuring Alessandra Ball James & James Kopecky. Photo credit: Peter Za.

And there you have it! See? Bringing little ones to the ballet isn’t as tough as it seems.

If you’re looking for somewhere to start to introduce your little ones to the ballet, Festival Ballet Providence’s Little Mermaid is the perfect place to start! It hits The Vets stage April 27-29, and tickets are available now!

Little Mermaid

Music: Alexander Borodin, Claude Debussy, and Reinhold Glière
Choreography: Mark Diamond

Festival Ballet Providence Little Ones Providence Moms Blog

Friday, April 27, 2018 | 7:30 pm

Saturday, April 28, 2018 | 2:00 pm

Sunday, April 29, 2018 | 2:00 pm

The Vets

One Avenue of the Arts | Providence, Rhode Island | 02903

Tickets are available for purchase online, by phone at (401) 421-ARTS (2787), or at the PPAC Box Office located at 220 Weybosset Street in downtown Providence.

Confessions of a Perfectionist Mama: Meeting Everyone’s Needs

By

Laura Tancrelle

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April 3, 2018

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I truly do not that think I have ever cared about anything in my life as much as I care about being a good mother. Raising happy, healthy, well-adjusted children is so important to me that I can get a little obsessive about it. I’m a perfectionist in general, but I really take it to the next level with how I care for my kids.

But how can I possibly be a perfectionist when the people in my family have so many darn NEEDS? There’s only one of me, and I’ve got to take care of myself too! Before my first son was born, I was under the impression that once I was a mother, I would no longer have needs of my own. Sleep, food, social interaction – in my little fantasy in my head, nothing would be important anymore, so long as I was caring for my precious little one.

I’m sure you know where this is going. Starting just hours after he was born, I wrestled with how I could possibly fulfill both of our needs. How in the world was I supposed to recover from pushing an eight-ish pound watermelon out of me while simultaneously waking up to feed that watermelon every two hours? I have an amazing husband, but he couldn’t breastfeed or magically heal my lady bits. After getting a total of eight hours of sleep over a four day period of time, I was thoroughly frustrated with myself for not being the perfect parent I had envisioned. I was supposed to be enjoying every moment, darnit!! That was the plan! Nevermind that no human can enjoy anything on two hours of sleep a night.

It took me a while to realize that my needs count too. I cannot be the mom I want to be without caring for myself, both physically and emotionally. It’s something I still wrestle with today. I feel guilty (thrilled, but guilty) whenever I leave my children to have some adult time. I know that’s it’s ridiculous, but I can’t help it. Somewhere deep inside my brain, there’s this little voice saying that I should be able to fulfill every one of my children’s needs, especially since I’m a stay-at-home mom. By this time, I’m at least comfortable telling that voice to shut it.

But now that I have two little ones, meeting everyone’s needs is even more of a balancing act. I spend a lot of time rolling ideas around in my brain about how to best go about caring for everyone, and I usually come up with a decent plan. But we all know what happens when you mix plans and children. Total chaos. On a recent weekday, I planned to put the baby down for a morning nap, during which I would have some one-on-one play time with my three-year-old. I’d take everyone to the grocery store when the baby woke up, grabbing a coffee for myself on the way. Afterward, we’d come back for lunch and both children’s afternoon naps. Meets everyone’s needs and sounds so simple!

Well, the baby decided to snooze for only half an hour, which meant that he was overtired, and my three-year-old was not happy that his playtime with Mom got cut short. So no one was happy during the grocery store trip, and I felt crazy rushed to get everyone home and fed before total meltdown city occurred. When this kind of day happens, I feel like such a failure. How am I possibly this bad at meeting everyone’s needs? Shouldn’t I be able to make our lives run more smoothly?

What I tell myself over and over again is that with two little ones, two adults, and a dog, there is no possible way for things to run optimally at all times. The baby’s nap might get cut short. My older son might have some extra junk in his lunchbox instead of fruit. They might have more screen time than I’d like and sometimes eat in the car because we’re running late. And guess what? That’s okay. They will survive. Life is not perfect. It’s not optimal. And they don’t need it to be in order to be happy and healthy. They are fiercely loved, and I am teaching them to roll with the punches and be resilient and flexible, which actually are characteristics of a well-adjusted adult. And maybe at some point soon this (semi) well-adjusted adult will be able to let go of being a perfectionist and just do her best.

Helping Families Ride the Waves of Autism

By

Niki Robinson

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April 2, 2018

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surfers healing waves autism awareness day Providence Moms Blog What do you get if you take 200 kids with autism, two handfuls of professional surfers, a few dozen boxes of Allie’s donuts, and serve it all up on a chilly September morning? One perfect day, made possible by Surfers Healing, a non-profit organization whose mission is “ to enrich the lives of people living with autism by exposing them to the unique experience of surfing.” As someone who grew up on a steady diet of Rocket Power and surfer envy, I think this might be the coolest mission statement I’ve ever heard. I was invited to this incredible event by my friend Raquel. Her daughter Anissa is 13 years old. She has an amazing memory, she loves cats, and she is one of the rare girls on the autism spectrum. She’s also allergic to everything from peanuts to grapes. After this event I can add one more thing to her description: she loves surfing.

“Isn’t it a bit cold for surfing, Raquel?” It was 7 am on a Saturday and we were already Narragansett bound, coffees in hand.

“No!” The excitement in her voice was palpable. “A lot of these kids don’t really feel temperature. That’s why they do it this time of year. The beach is empty and they can just be themselves!” She was beaming. As I drove, I thought about the unlikelihood of me ever meeting these two unique women, and yet here we were, driving, chatting, drinking coffee. Friendship is funny like that. One day you’re strangers, then suddenly you’re not.

When we finally reached the parking lot, SUVs and minivans were emptying themselves like clown cars. Excitement charged the foggy air as families made their way down to the shoreline. After a short eternity, Anissa finally got to hit the waves. This kid loves the water. Dozens of other smiles shining through the fog told me she wasn’t alone. There is a reason they call it “One Perfect Day.”

The whole experience was a metaphor for our friendship. I went there to support Anissa, but I left so much more enriched myself. The people in this community can be very guarded because of the judgment they face every day in a world just doesn’t get them. Yet, I, a neurotypical woman with three developmentally typical sons, got to share in their one perfect day. That’s not normal, but it should be. It is very difficult for families touched by autism (and other special needs) to build relationships outside of their own circle. This is a problem for all of us, not just them. I need Raquel and Anissa in my life to remind me that my way of parenting isn’t the only way and that my problems aren’t the only problems. I want my boys to grow up arm and arm with Anissa because I want them to learn compassion, empathy, and kindness, and I don’t want them to see different as scary.

Building relationships with people just like us is hard enough. Reaching out to people unlike us can be downright intimidating. With that in mind, here are some steps you can take to building these relationships when the opportunity arises, and since autism is the fastest growing developmental disability in America today, the opportunity will arise.

Special Needs Moms are Normal Moms: These incredible women deal with a whirlwind of issues many of us cannot imagine, but they are still moms. They need friends who will bring over a bottle of wine for a Gilmore Girls binge, and that they frantically text about deals at Target, just like the rest of us.
We’re Different, We’re the Same: This is the title of a Sesame Street book we have kicking around our house. Reading books like this to our children when they are young sets a foundation to embrace different, instead of shying away from it.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions: I know this feels uncomfortable, but that’s how relationships work. Say, “Hi! Your daughter looks so adorable. Where did you get her dress?” or “How old is your son?” Normal human stuff. Once they share their child’s diagnosis with you, ask questions like, “What is autism spectrum disorder?” or “When did he get his diagnosis?” If your child has questions don’t shush them.”To us there are no wrong questions,” says Raquel. Teach them how to ask with kindness and sensitivity. Don’t just look away “to make them feel more comfortable.” That is only making you feel more comfortable.
Don’t Assume: If a child seems to ignore your greeting don’t assume they are being rude. If you notice a child on the playground that exclusively eats goldfish don’t assume they are being malnourished. If you meet a four-year-old in diapers don’t assume they have lazy parents. If a child has a public meltdown they may not be a spoiled brat. Many kids on the spectrum do not appear to be at first glance. Get to know people before drawing conclusions about their parenting.
Be Supportive: Share the links they share about autism awareness, show up to events when you are invited, and donate to causes they care about when you can!

If you or someone you love live life on the autism spectrum, I’d love to hear from you in the comments! How can the rest of us help your family ride the waves of autism?

Seekonk Target to Launch Nap Service for Moms

By

Alicia

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April 1, 2018

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SEEKONK, Ma. – If you’re a tired mom who shops at Target, you may want to head over to the Seekonk location starting next week.

The big-box retailer is rolling out the revolutionary nap time subscription service, RedZzs, in several cities in the coming months. However, the location on Commerce Avenue in Seekonk will be the first to launch on Monday, April 2.

For a monthly fee of $24.99, adult Target customers can take 35-minute naps in soundproof pods. The fitting room desk will now also serve as the RedZzs desk. Customers will simply flash their RedZzs Card and get assigned a Red Pod to take a nap in. The inside of the pod is actually a soothing shade of seafoam green.

While the service is open to any Target customer over the age of 18, it is primarily geared towards exhausted mothers who are aimlessly walking around Target with their young children because if they have to tell Ava one more time to stop using Finn’s face as a coloring book they’re going to snap.

Target Nap Service April Fools' Day Providence Moms Blog Seekonk
Tracy Slater of Attleboro Falls, a mom of three children under age six, has already signed up. “I’m thrilled,” says Slater. “If they put in a wine bar behind Men’s Clothing I might have my mail forwarded there.”

Additional benefits include childcare during the customer’s 35 minutes of shut-eye. Newborns through 4 year-olds will be placed in the carts of other customers while they shop. Five-year-olds and older will stock shelves. The program also offers Bathroom Duty to any children who were particularly mouthy in the car on the way to Target.

“When developing the RedZzs program we considered what Target customers are looking for during their shopping experience,” said Andrew MacNorth, executive vice president and chief marketing officer of the New England region. “Nearly every focus group of moms came to the same conclusion: sleep. In fact, some dozed off during the session.”

Moms looking to sign up for the service can download the RedZzs App from Google Play or the App Store or by logging onto www.aprilfools.com.

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