So here we are, just a few weeks into the New Year. The time when resolutions are being kept, broken, and possibly still being made. I haven’t had any wine, but I have eaten some chocolate. So that should tell you how I am fairing. A few more on my list? Read more books and have a family game night.

“Be a better mother, exercise, and spend more time at home,” are just a few others I have heard.  And while watching a daytime talk show last week (Ahem! Kelly & Ryan), I heard the hosts proclaim in 2018 they would learn to play an instrument and speak a foreign language. Bravo! These are all fantastic goals and worthy of our efforts. It is important to take care of yourself. But when I really started thinking about it, I realized all of my resolutions were about ME. MY family, MY life. And I thought, “how selfish.” Then I was immediately sick of myself. So I starting thinking, “maybe I should resolve to do more for others. Maybe this year, I should volunteer?”

Sure, I have made donations to charity, donated used toys and old clothes to the Salvation Army. I have helped to raise money for the American Cancer Society. But is that enough? In my opinion, it’s not. That doesn’t mean we should all stop making monetary contributions to our favorites charities; that kind of support is important too. But can we really understand the people our donations are helping if we just write a check? In most cases, the answer is probably no. I am also willing to bet that each of us would get more out of giving our time than giving in our money.

My mother recently joined the missions group from our church in delivering meals and coats to the homeless throughout Woonsocket. Their first stop was a strip of railroad tracks. She told me how the truck pulled up to a seemingly vacant area and out of nowhere several people appeared, ready to accept a warm cup of coffee and a sandwich. As part of the project dubbed “loaves and fishes” those who were making the deliveries, my mom included, continued the long walk down the railroad tracks where dozens more were found in makeshift shelters. Together the volunteers and these homeless men and women walked back to the road, sometimes arm and arm. Two people having a conversation. All of this by design, giving everyone involved a chance to connect.

Their final stop of the day was a low-income housing development. She said children rushed out of their homes, running after the van as if it were the ice cream truck. Let that image sink in for a moment….

Hats, gloves, and hot cocoa were doled out to a dozen or more smiling kids. All of them excited to talk about what was happening in their schools and about what they were doing with their friends and family. During this stop, my mother was tapped on the shoulder and turned around to meet the face of a coworker. They said hello and then the woman introduced her family, which included three children and her elderly mother. It was a surprise encounter, but also very meaningful and eye-opening to say the least.

I often hear or read things such as, “lazy people are poor and they abuse the system.” Or even, “some people choose to live that way.” And yes, while in some cases this may be true, the circumstances behind it are often complicated, and it’s certainly not true in ALL cases. And even when it is, does it mean they’re less deserving of help? Does it mean we should turn our backs? I am not so sure.

I think it’s safe to say there is an overwhelming lack of empathy in today’s society. It’s evident in the daily news, in our communities, and as I’ve already established, in our resolutions. If you feel bad, it’s enough just to say a prayer. But if you want to implement change, if you want to help, you need to do something. Physically DO SOMETHING. Some people do it every day through their career of choice. Nurses, doctors, teachers: you are out there! And I applaud you. But I sell flooring. And while that may bring about change in someone’s home and possibly brighten their day, it’s not what I would consider, “making a difference.”

So many of us could probably stand to do more in our communities.  And you don’t have to join a church or an organization; you can use what you already have. If you have a skill or a trade, call a shelter or a nursing home and ask how you can volunteer. And if you don’t have either, call anyway. They’ll find something for you, I guarantee it.

Because let’s face it–as parents, we don’t want to raise kids who feel entitled. So we need to raise them to be empathetic and grateful. To understand the plight of others. To know that just because you are more fortunate than someone else, doesn’t mean you are BETTER. And if they know even the smallest contribution can make a difference, our kids will feel empowered to be the change. We just have to lead by example. My mother has done that, and I plan to join her on the next mission so maybe I can inspire my own kids.

So I’m adding “volunteer my time” to my list of New Year’s resolutions. And I’m putting it at the top. Maybe you can join me? Like a gym buddy. Only this one, we have to keep.