When you face that figurative fork in the road, which way do you go?
I’ve spent so many of my years following in the path more traveled that I know for sure I’ve missed some opportunities along the way. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve taken my fair share of risks, and have done some interesting things in my time, but I always fall back on the reliable and sensible thing to do.
I knew I would go to college. Initially, my intentions were to go out-of-state and study pre-law (so exciting). This would’ve been way out of my element; leave my single mom, the small town I grew up in and study pre-law at a huge University in Connecticut? I even signed the letter of intent. In the months leading up to graduation, the anxiety set in. And there I was, applying to Bridgewater State College, spring of senior year, hoping to get accepted so I could stay closer to home, closer to friends, safely in my comfort zone.
“The lust for comfort murders the passions of the soul.” – Khalil Gibran
Over the next few years, I got married, graduated with my Master’s, and got a job (close to home, of course). We were staying with my in-laws at the time and had settled into a life that allowed us to live but not grow. The days were so similar, so predictable.
Then one day I woke up and realized it wasn’t enough. Comfortable wasn’t enough for me. Comfortable didn’t equate happy. Comfortable wasn’t fulfilling. I was uncomfortable in the comfortable.
On the other hand, change can be terrifying. How and where do I start? What if it doesn’t work out? Wouldn’t it be easier to just continue on my path? When change starts to pull you out of your comfort zone, questions, doubts, and fears fill your mind. But when you’re ready, you’re ready. Shut those thoughts off, and keep moving forward.
Then I started making moves. I started listening to what I really wanted and needed in my life. I kept myself open to opportunities and relationships. I grew. I stopped making the sensible choice all the time and I started living for the moment, being present and found so much strength in myself.
Was it easy? No.
Was it worth it? Yes.
Today I feel more confident and in touch with who I am as a woman, mother, and wife. I feel wildly capable and confident, but equally unsure. I remind myself to be grateful for even the most seemingly insignificant parts of my life.