Holy Crap, I’m an Adult…and Other Obvious Realizations (Hint: Live in the Moment)


adult memories realizations Providence Moms BlogSo there I am, walking down the center church aisle, hearing my kids’ squealing gradually softening behind me, and I see my younger brother waiting patiently at the altar. As I stare at my kid brother, I start to well up and say louder than I anticipated, “I am going to cry.” Thankfully the laughter from a few rows of family helped me keep it together and NOT ruin my very-rarely-done-so-beautifully makeup. I then broke bridesmaid protocol, hugged the snot out of my brother and told him that I loved him.

Then as I watched my two adorable little kids walk down the church aisle with their grandfather (my father) I came to the painfully obvious realization that, “Holy crap, I am an adult…and so is my brother.” 

This is not news. I have been a mom for four years. Married for seven. A homeowner for eight. A big sister for 27. But that’s the beauty (or curse) of life events; they force you to pause and reflect on life (especially Orthodox Christian weddings; they are long!)

That moment (and the 59-minutes after that) illuminated how every second with which I’ve been blessed made this moment what it is. A beautiful celebration of love and joy and family. Yes, let’s make that last.

Then I thought about how time never stops. Whether you make good or bad life decisions, time marches on. And lives are crafted by those decisions. Insert “overwhelm” here.

For all those moments I was distracted by something fleeting and not listening when I should have been enjoying my large, extended and quirky family, I am sorry.

For all those times my brother wanted to play with me and I thought I was too cool…I am sorry for that, too.

Also, I was never cool.

And now I am an adult. A parent. A homeowner. A big sister. A Godmother. An auntie. A working professional. An entrepreneur. And a bridesmaid in my brother’s wedding. 

While all of this is running through my head, I hear “Mama!” from across the church and I see a little hand waving to me. My thoughts cease as I stare at my smiling baby girl. I remember a quote by Omar Khayyem that advises, “Be happy in this moment. This moment is your life.” As I glance from my kids to my husband as a groomsman to my brother over the moon with joy and then to my parents holding hands in the front pew, this is very easy to do.

That’s what we have. That’s all we have. This moment. Right now. Forget what was. Be happy now. Happy wedding, little brother. May this new chapter in your life be full of happy moments. 

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Kim Votruba-Matook is the proud mother of a three-year-old son and a fifteen-month-old daughter, wife to her high school sweetheart, a professional holding down a full time job in the nonprofit sector, AND an entrepreneur as founder of The Artful Educator. Kim's primary motivation for everything she does stems from the belief that there is always a way she can help make someone’s life better. She was raised within a close-knit, quirky, huge, creative family (and then married someone who has an even larger family!) that is now and will always be an integral part of her life. Her world revolves around traveling within Southern MA and Northern RI to say "hi!" to them all. When not working on her business, Kim loves researching and borrowing books, ranging from graphic novels to fiction to biographies, from her local library to read with her kids. She loves chai lattes with almond milk, tea, and baking any carb-tastic treat. Her all-time favorite recipe is her Gram’s baked macaroni and cheese, which she could easily eat every day. Her exercise routine is chasing, picking up and carrying her kids across driveways and parking lots and up and down stairs so she isn't late to family events or church. She seeks out new, local diners for monthly Saturday brunch with friends and restaurants that make amazing burgers and/or macaroni and cheese entrees for date nights. Also, she really likes mac and cheese…in case that wasn’t clear. She loves Motown dance parties with her kids, watching movies with her husband, checking out local craft fairs, embarking on her own craft/sewing projects, and empowering her kids to make their own art. And sometimes she manages to get some sleep.