I am not enjoying every moment with my little kids. There, I said it out loud. Admitted to the world what I have admitted to myself and felt guilty about for long enough. And if I am being honest, I would go as far as to say that I haven’t been enjoying the majority of moments lately.
My (young) children are beautiful, healthy, funny, vibrant, learning, always changing. They crack me up, bring me so much joy, teach me (far more than I teach them) and their snuggles are just the best. And since they are kids, that means they are also touchy, moody, prone to break downs and making big messes; they’re hard work and not always a great time. Because heck, nobody is a great time all of the time.
My babies are allowed their big feelings and to tear the house apart playing pretend. It would be strange if my youngest never had a day where she cried on and off for the duration. I would be concerned if my “big kids” (2 and 4) never had an argument over a toy. They are doing what they ought to be at their ages and while oftentimes I find myself delighting in watching them learn and grow and just be, other times I am weary and tired and frustrated. I am stretched thin and grasping and looking forward to a couple of years from now. And that’s okay.
If I had a dollar for every time someone saw me and my kid squad out and said, “Awwww honey, enjoy every moment because they go by so fast!”, I could buy all of you reading this something really nice! I know those people mean well, I really do. And some nights I watch my kids’ chests rise and fall as they sleep and my heart just about explodes with my love for them. But in the midst of the daily grind, there are many moments I do not enjoy and I’m going to say it again for those in the back – it is okay.
Even though I am a firm believer in finding the JOY in all things and circumstances, I know that it doesn’t mean I have to like all things and circumstances. And even though I know that to be true, I can still find myself feeling guilty for not enjoying everything, all the time. You too? Good. I’m glad I’m not alone on this one. But let’s be honest – who is enjoying waking up multiple times a night with a crying babe? Who is enjoying changing the 3rd diaper explosion of the day? Or talking to your child about the same thing for the 10th time that day? Or putting them to bed without reading a story first because they talked back to you AGAIN? I don’t like it, but I have to do it. And just like I tell my kids, I have to tell myself, “Sometimes we have to do things that we don’t like to do. It grows our character and we should do it without grumbling.”
So, I refuse to let this post be grumble-y and complain-y because that’s not a healthy place to be for too long. But momma – I see you and all of your less than enjoyable moments. And I hope that amidst them, you experience some so wonderful you forget (at least for a second) about the rest.
