I’m a helicopter parent and I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t need any advice on how to change, and I’m not judging you for not helicoptering. My husband and I have one child and getting her did not come easy. After years of trying for a second child, we know that she will be our one and only child. While having an only child wasn’t our plan, our family feels whole. We both helicopter…and I don’t see that changing.
I feel the judgment when at a party and one of us is within eyeshot of her at all times. “She’s fine, there are tons of adults here.” And then I read an article which gives statistics of how many kids drowned at parties when tons of adults are around because everyone assumes someone is watching. We live in a world where abductions, abuse, and accidents are plastered over social media, television shows, and don’t get me started with the horror of watching the news. (Insert additional anxiety.) Media has hammered into our brain that no one can be trusted.
Putting her in swim and self-defense classes have helped our fears. Watching her learn to be a strong swimmer gives me some comfort but I still know that the strongest swimmer can have an accident in water. The self-defense program will hopefully give her some of the tools she would need should she happen to find herself in a situation beyond our helicopter protection. They focus not only self-defense but self-confidence. All of these things help us grow as much as they help her.
The world our daughter is growing up in is dramatically different than when we grew up. My mother wouldn’t have thought twice about me walking home from school or across the street to the neighbor’s house. Now I watch the news and see a man they’re searching for who approaches young children walking home from school in his car or a known child rapist released from prison that just moved into Rhode Island. While I’d like to chalk this up as isolated incidents, they’re not. Things like this are becoming more prevalent in the news and I’m scared.
“She’s going to rebel if you don’t let her be independent.” Every kid has experiences in their lives that aren’t ideal. She’ll have plenty to tell her therapist about our over-bearing parenting. In the meantime, we will continue to hover and slowly give more space. We do our best to ensure that our fears don’t become her fears. We do our best to equip her with the knowledge and power to make good decisions. Right now she is an almost fearless six-year-old and I love that she allows us to carry her fears for her!
