Mommy, why do we need Lockdown Drills?

The scene.

I’m in the car line for school pickup. I get a text, “Dear Parents, The students participated in a lockdown drill today. Thank you for your continued support in this matter.” My heart sinks. I know my 7-year-old daughter is going to be anxious about it and I know my 5-year-old son will have a million and ten questions.

The kids pile into the car.

Me, “How was everyone’s day? Did anyone do anything nice for someone today?”

Daughter, “I had a terrible day.”

Son, “Well, it was great until recess, we were all playing, and then we had to go inside quickly and quietly and hide from the bad guys.”

Me, “Man, that doesn’t sound like fun. I’m sorry buddy that you’re disappointed. And I’m sorry you had a terrible day. Is there anything I can do to help? Do you guys want to talk about it, or just be quiet for the drive home?”

Silence.

On a normal day, the kids ask for Dels, Ice Cream, Starbucks, Dunkin or to go to the bakery after school. Today, they just wanted to be alone with their thoughts. I often want to be alone with my thoughts when I need to process something and feel my feels.

We pulled into the drive and piled into the house. My daughter had a look of devastation on her face. My son went to the bathroom, got himself a snack, and sat down at the dining room table, all proud of himself. My daughter went upstairs to change. I called up and said to come and talk when she was ready, but when she wanted to. She emerged from her room shortly after and got onto my lap as she did when she was a toddler. That feeling of being needed and being her safe space, brought me to tears. I couldn’t help it. I looked down at her and said, “I love that you still climb into my lap and I love how you come to me when you’re ready.”

Then, I said the following. “I’m sorry you’re scared. I’m sorry you had to do a lockdown drill and I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to give you a squeeze. But do you remember last January, when we were all home and we watched a few minutes on the tv and people were trying to break into the capital? Those were mean and bad people. They wanted to go in and yell. They wanted to hurt people I’ve helped get elected, people I’ve voted for. That is a sacred place, a place of respect and honor, and prestige. There are many good people who work there and work hard. That was a scary day. It was a sad day. But, it was a day of bravery and truth. Some of the people who worked there knew how to act because they had been taught in their schools what to do. They moved big and heavy filing cabinets to block the doors. They closed the windows and blinds, hid quietly under their desks, and closed their eyes. They acted quickly and safely. Those are the heroes. Those are the people we respect and that’s what you will do. I hope you and your brother and baby sister never find yourself in that situation, but if you do, you will know what to do.”

She asked, “Why is this happening? Will you and daddy come and help?”

I told her I didn’t know why this was happening, but I would always do my best to protect her and her brother and baby sister. All we can do is live our lives.

Yes, lockdown drills are crucial to our society and yes, they are needed. However, I’m 34 years old. I was never afraid to go to school, and I never had to do a drill in school. My kids have done more drills than I have in my life. In the month of May, there has been a shooting every single day, sometimes more than once a day. What needs to happen to have stricter gun laws? No, no one is coming for your gun. But no one needs an assault rifle. It’s now easier to buy an AK47 than it is to buy baby formula. I am 100% in support of the second amendment, but not at the risk of our children’s lives and mental health. I am going to join Moms Demand Action. What are you going to do?