This is what we know:
Families from Central America are fleeing situations that most of us couldn’t fathom. Violence, poverty, food scarcity. Parents are making the choice to seek survival and safety by leaving behind their homes and making a long and dangerous journey toward new opportunities. They arrive at what they have been told is the correct entry point for seeking asylum in the United States, and find it closed. They seek another entry point to declare they are seeking asylum, and they are told they are crossing at an unauthorized point and are detained. Because the current administration is now charging these asylum seekers with a misdemeanor crime (note: charging, not convicting) their children are being sent to detention facilities, sometimes thousands of miles away. This practice has been defended as a purposeful deterrent to immigrants, including asylum seekers. They have not been found guilty of any crime, yet they and their children are being jailed.
What we also know is that the United Nations, Amnesty International, all living First Ladies, and lawmakers from both parties have condemned this practice and are seeking to end it immediately. Both Senators Cruz and Cornyn from Texas want to end this practice immediately and are creating legislation to stop it. Dozens of Senators have signed on to a bill to end family separation, and the remaining Senators all call for it to end. Religious groups including Catholic Bishops, Episcopal leaders, Jewish faith organizations, and others have condemned the practice.
Let me tell you what else I know as a mother and a trauma therapist: this is child abuse. There is no way to soft sell it. I know our brains want to make sense of this. We want there to be something we are missing that explains this away or justifies the actions our government is taking. We want to believe we are better than this. The truth is that this is happening, and it is wrong, and we must do everything in our power to end it, immediately.
Why is this on us? Because there is no such thing as other people’s children. Because the divisions that may exist are nothing compared to the bond of humanity we all share. Because these mamas need their kids and these kids need their mamas just as much as my kids and I need each other. (If you doubt this, please sit with that for a minute and ask yourself why). Because seeking a better life for yourself and your children via asylum is not a crime. Because these children will grow up to occupy the same world as my kids, and I want them to live in a world with as many healthy and whole people as possible.
Dr. Alicia Lieberman states, “Children are biologically programmed to grow best in the care of a parent figure. Losing a loving and protective parent is the biggest single tragedy that can happen to a child.” The research could not be more clear about the traumatic effects and toxic stress reactions experienced by children who are separated from their parents. It changes their development in an irreversible way. It literally changes their brain. It leaves them vulnerable to physical and mental health issues ranging from anxiety and depression to substance abuse and heart disease. The effects of traumatic separation are also being exacerbated here by the policies of the detention centers where the kids are being held, which include the prohibition of physical comfort. Let that sink in. Babies as young as six months old are denied physical comfort after being taken from their loving parents. Siblings are separated from one another. These actions are irrevocably changing the course of these children’s lives, and even worse? There is no clear course to reunifying these children with their parents.
Not convinced how serious this is? Read the statement from the American Psychological Association. Or the one from the American Academy of Pediatrics. Watch this interview with the head of the AAP and hear what she saw. Or read the statement from Developmental Psychologists.
As mothers, humanitarian crises like these can seem so overwhelming. But there are easy ways to help if you are moved to do so, like here, here, and here.
Together, we can make sure that the world can be better for all of our babies.
