Self-Care or Selfish?

self-care of selfish Providence Moms Blog
Photo credit: Haven Photography

Visualize your internal list, that list of who or what is important… where are you on that list?

For many of us we are at the bottom, or pretty close to it. We are constantly putting others’ needs and wants above our own. And this goes far beyond being a mother or even a wife. I know most of the time when I check in with that list, my son is at the top. Following him are my husband, mother, cousins, close friends, students, clients and so on. Most days I find myself at the very bottom, tired and burnt out. Like they say, you can’t pour from an empty cup, yet so many days, that is exactly what I feel I am doing.

Something I have recently become more aware of is the idea of self-care; the crazy idea of putting yourself first on that list from time to time. The idea that simple changes in your daily routine can lead to a more balanced and mindful life. Recognizing how important it is to identify your values and create space in your life for what truly matters.

I know for me, it is difficult to draw a line between what can be considered self-care and what can be considered selfish. Mom guilt is a real thing. I feel guilty every time I do something for myself that involves me taking away from time with my child, even when I know I deserve or need the time. I spend those precious moments convincing myself that its OK to be doing whatever it is that I’m doing in that moment.

The reality is we are in control of that line. We have the power to decide what we deserve in any given moment. Taking time for yourself is not selfish. If anything it makes you a better, more present version of yourself.


Keep. it. simple

Go to bed a few minutes earlier and read a book.

Wake up a few minutes earlier and stretch or drink a cup of coffee.

Go take that yoga or barre class.

Have that glass of wine on Tuesday night.


Close your eyes and breathe.

Start a meditation practice. 

Go for a walk.

Plug your phone in away from your bed.

Eat well and drink water.

Do whatever it is that makes you feel good; that puts you at the top of your list, and do it often. If you start these small practices you will feel more nourished and fulfilled. You deserve it!

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Chelsea was born in Providence and spent her early years in Pawtucket, before moving to South-East MA. She was recently called back to Rhode Island where she purchased her first home. As most moms do, Chelsea wears many hats these days. She’s been married to her husband for 10 years and spent her early 20s supporting him as he served in the United States Marine Corps. She has a one year old son, Cannon, who keeps her on her feet and a smile on her face. She owns a fitness and wellness studio in Rehoboth, called Barre & Moon. Where she spends quite a few evenings and weekends working with an amazing group of empowered, positive women. And when she’s not doing all of that, she is working part-time as a Special Education teacher in Foxboro. Chelsea attended both the University of North Carolina-Wilmington and Bridgewater State University, graduating with degrees in English, Elementary Education and a Masters in Special Education. Education is greatly important to her, and she continues to stay updated on current teachings in education/child psychology. She loves Starbucks, and all things Target. Exercise is a huge part of her life, anything from yoga, to barre, to weightlifting, to just chasing her son around on the playground! Staying active and having fun with family and friends are what she is all about.