Moms in the Arts: An Interview with Shura Baryshnikov

As I sprint down Washington Street, I’m clutching my laptop bag to keep it from banging against my legs and praying that my inability to get my daughters out the door on time for school hasn’t kept Shura Baryshnikov waiting long. As I open the door to Ellie’s Bakery, sure enough, a petite blonde with striking blue eyes is sitting at the back table. Apologetic and overwhelmed, I rush over to introduce myself. Shura, however, is untroubled and reassures me that I’m right on time. As I gather my thoughts, I can’t help but stare at this poised yet unassuming woman wearing a stylish gray scarf and a soft leopard print sweatshirt. She’s honest, open, and exudes a quiet self-possession that’s wise beyond her years. Although she’s only a few years older, Shura and I are at very different parenting stages in our lives. She’s in the thick of the teenage years while I’m still in the thick of diapers. And for our morning together, it felt more like I was getting advice from my big sister or catching up with an old friend than interviewing an impressive, self-made woman who has worked tirelessly to find her path out of the shadows of her famous parents, Mikhail Baryshnikov and Jessica Lange, and reinvent herself as an interdisciplinary movement artist, dancer, choreographer, professor, business owner, and single mother. 

Cultivating Her Artistry

I can’t resist asking: how did Shura’s interest in dance begin? Was it at the encouragement of her father? Like most young girls, Shura started her dance classes in classical ballet, but her parents gave her ample room to discover her own interests. “I certainly saw incredible dance and theater growing up. I was surrounded by those incredibly creative communities, and it was certainly formative. But I certainly never felt pressure from them to engage in those disciplines.” I confess to her that my oldest daughter has been in ballet classes for three years, and my youngest daughter will most likely join in her older sister’s footsteps. Ballet, we agree, is often an obvious choice for young girls.

But Shura is grateful that her parents respected her space to make her own decisions about her extracurricular activities; by the time she was thirteen years old, her interest in dance waned, and she began to focus on sports and horseback riding. But as she moved into adulthood, Shura naturally gravitated back to dance. “I went back to dance on my own because I had a genuine interest and desire to move; to have a rich life that’s grounded in improvisational practices and contemporary movement. But I came to it on my own. I found my way in that was not related to [my parents’] disciplines per se, but truly an expression of what I was interested in investigating.” 

Giving Ourselves Space

I’m curious now about how Shura has grown as a dancer throughout her career, and I’ve walked into our interview unfairly assuming that her artistry is genetically inbred and easily accessible. I envision a home environment brimming with artistry for both herself and her daughters. But she’s quick to set the record straight when I ask her about how she is able to be so creative and engaged as a mother: “I think that we need to be generous with ourselves. I don’t always succeed in cultivating that generosity. Sometimes all I do is sit on the couch and watch Netflix, and sometimes I can’t enforce the sit-down dinner for everyone and engage in stimulating conversation. Sometimes it’s just too much.”

It’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only one who feels like I can’t constantly provide the creative stimulus I’d like to for my children and that as mothers, we need to give ourselves permission to have downtime to recharge. As we talk more about this, Shura points out that in order to have moments of creativity and inspiration, both within ourselves and for our children, we need to give “ourselves the space to know we need to let ourselves off the hook sometimes; that’s also part of the creative and generative process of finding a way to reinvigorate our interest in what we do. We can’t always be pushing. There’s a renewal where we have to build our battery stores up again” so we can keep moving forward.

But for her daughters, Shura has worked hard to make sure that they are able to explore their own passions. “I’ve tried to follow their interests and not push them into any particular mold. And they’ve both emerged with really defined and specifics interests, and I’m just trying to support those as best as I can. It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to do with myself, and I just want to keep the dialogue open with them.” Shura makes it clear that she’s offered opportunities to her girls (her youngest is a budding circus performer; her oldest is an actress, singer, and linguist) but has expected them to take the lead in discovering where they want to put their creative energy. 

On Raising Independent Children

In talking to Shura, it’s clear that she’s very proud of her daughters and their accomplishments. And it seems that her biggest priority as a mother is to teach her daughters how to be independent. Her girls have household chores and responsibilities and are in charge of organizing their own time management and activities. Whether it’s fighting over who has to unload the dishwasher, filling out their own paperwork, or making sure their homework is completed on time, Shura has a “hands-off” approach and trusts that she’s given her girls the skills and ability to manage their daily routines on their own. Her oldest daughter will study abroad in France for the school year while her youngest will tour for the third time as a trouper with the all-children circus, Circus Smirkus, this summer.

While some parents may perceive this as a lack of parenting attachment, I find it impressive that Shura has a secure relationship with her daughters where they feel comfortable enough to explore on their own adventures. Appreciative of the feedback, she agrees. She begins to gush about her daughters, and it’s clear that she’s proud of the young adults they’re becoming. “My girls are very different. It’s always that surprising thing of how can two people, two sisters from the same parents turn out with such different interests, personalities, and constitutions? That’s the joy of parenting, of getting to see who they become. It’s been beautiful to watch that unfold and see their individuality.”

Cultivating Curiosity

I still want to know more about how Shura cultivated artistry and creativity for her own daughters. Did her daughters, who are accomplished artists themselves, pick up on artistry merely through osmosis, or did Shura work hard to give her daughters an artistic upbringing? She is quick to admit that fostering an interest in the arts came more out of necessity than anything else. “They spent a lot of time with me in rehearsals and in studios, and they saw me working toward the things that I wanted for myself. I think that’s partially the result that I didn’t have an established career when I had them because I had them so young. I was 21 and 23 when my girls were born, so I really had come into my professional life and creative practice with them as they moved through their childhood and elementary school years. I was also growing with them as an artist and kind of discovering what makes me happy. They were witness to that.”

Shura’s daughters watched the blood, sweat, and tears she put into her career. Transparency, though, has been a necessity, and Shura is a firm believer in making sure that her daughters understand life’s challenges and that there are no easy shortcuts.  “I think that showing our children what is important to us by example is really important. And that’s not without its cost. They’ve had to have a lot of independence because I was building a foundation for myself as an artist. I couldn’t rest on my laurels or the work I had done previous to having them. I really had to build everything from the ground up after they were born, and so they saw the hard work. And they’ve seen me go from doing part-time, independent work as a dancer and choreographer, to having a full-time faculty position and running a company. But life is hard, no matter what your circumstances.”

Finding Her Path

Shura has taken nothing for granted and has embraced all her life experiences as bringing her to certain paths based on both practicalities and desires. “I think we’re constantly making decisions that are practical and instinctual. We’re trying to pursue our needs and our dreams. Sometimes those things overlap, and sometimes they don’t.” Finding herself as a single mother at a young age, Shura knew she needed to find work that allowed her flexibility. And like most women, she engaged in the give and take of following her passion while making sure the bills were paid and food was on the table. Her career has ebbed and flowed: Shura has worked as an interior designer, arts administrator, teacher, and runs her own company.

She describes her career as lily pads: all of her life experiences have always brought her to her next career step. She has a clear appreciation for all the life lessons she’s gained from her non-traditional career moves and the various jobs she’s had in her life. While now, for example, she realizes that working in arts administration would not sustain her passions long term, it taught her both business management and catapulted her to pursue a more creative practice. “We often have to do things we don’t want to do. But ideally, there’s some grand design where we’re learning a set of skills that can be useful to us. We have a path that’s not necessarily linear, but that builds a base of knowledge and experience that ends up being valuable when we finally find our way to the things we need to be doing. I don’t think it changes. I think it’s reinvention. Nine lives: that’s more the reality. We don’t necessarily stay in the same careers all our lives.”

Seasons of Our Lives

I find it incredibly reassuring to know that I’m not the only mother out there continually wondering how to redefine my career and work experiences. Shura reassures me that she had to say “yes” to a lot of jobs before the felt she had the option to say “no.” I find this so encouraging to hear, and Shura reminds me that I’m still in the “survival stage” of parenting. “What it comes down to is that there are seasons in our lives. My mom says this now that she’s been an empty nester for years, ‘everything in your career and life happens at once — your relationships, your career, your parenting, your professional life — everything falls at once, and you’re juggling it, but at some point, there’s going to be a lot more space.’ So it’s recognizing that nothing stays the same forever. The kind of frenetic life that I’m keeping right now; the company and the professorship and the kids — that will pass eventually. It’s not going to stay the same. My kids are going to grow up and move out of the house, and even my company work, as it is now, won’t last forever. There will be a time and a season for something to be different.”

For Shura, that means one day she’ll have more time to practice her solo work in her studio and a reminder to take care of herself as best as she can. But for now, to keep up with the daily pace of life, Shura has carved out small rituals for herself: her morning breakfast smoothie and coffee, taking her girls to school in her pajamas, cooking a healthy meal most nights while listening to NPR, and watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy while reminding herself that she has to be forgiving when life isn’t perfect. “I don’t need to beat myself up about anything.”

Her Advice to Other Parents 

What advice does she have for parents who might not consider themselves to be creative, but who want to foster artistic creativity in their own children? Pinterest, the library, and music classes are all excellent resources, but Shura cautions against controlling too much of our children’s lived experiences: “I think children will have natural aptitudes and will gravitate towards particular things, and as parents, we need to pay attention to that and fuel that fire. Children can discover on their own. They don’t necessarily need to be exposed to it. It’s just kind of recognizing that interest in them and then figuring out how to feed that interest, even if it’s not your area of expertise.”

At the same time, Shura emphasizes the importance of creating a village of support for ourselves and our children, and to find other parents to lean on who share common values. “It’s impossible to be everything for our children. We have to recognize that they benefit from their exposure to other people as well and their expertise. We can’t be everything to our partners, we can’t be everything to our children — it’s too much pressure to put on one person. We just have to create that environment where they have access to that information and those people.” By just watching our children, we can figure out how to feed their interests, and we don’t have to do that alone. For Shura, having a network of support was instrumental in raising independent and successful daughters.

The One Piece of Advice She Hopes Her Girls Listen To

“I think we need to follow our curiosity. I think if we are attentive to our curiosity, it will generally guide us to the next jump in our lives. If we can keep the things we’re curious about, doors will open and things will unfold for us. Curiosity leads you to your passions.”

At Providence Moms Blog, we are passionate about the amazing multi-dimensionality of motherhood and aim to support mothers in their role as “mom” while encouraging them to honor all the other aspects of their identity. We believe that the arts are an essential part of what makes us human and encourage all moms to make the arts a part of their own and their children’s lives. We are proud to partner with Rhode Island School of Design’s Continuing Education Program for this series. 

RISD Continuing Education educates students of all ages in art and design with high quality, accessible programs, courses, lectures, and workshops.  

RISD CE offers courses for adults in the fine and applied arts and design at beginning, intermediate, and advanced levels. You’ll find a range of options to explore the world of art and design and RISD’s flexible course schedules meet the needs of today’s adult learners and their busy lifestyles. Options include 3-hour and weekend workshops, 6-12 session courses, and full certificate programs. 

RISD’s Young Artist Program (ages 6-17) helps students make their mark as they create, build, make, and dream big through courses in 2D, 3D, digital art and design, as well as STEAM courses. 
Saturday courses are offered year-round, and week-long vacation camps are offered in the winter, spring, and summer. Teens can enroll in one of four certificate programs to broaden their skills or prepare for a future in art and design.