Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in our hearts – Winnie the Pooh
As a new parent, you’re always told to embrace the ‘firsts’: their first word, when they stand on their own, when they learn to walk. What no one reminds you to do is savor the ‘lasts’ because, in hindsight, those are just as monumental milestones and the moments you will look back on and strain to remember.
This is even more prevalent when you don’t know your last baby will be your last baby at the moment. Growing up, I always saw myself with a gaggle of kids. As time has gone on and life has sped up, I’ve realized another baby may not be the best fit for our family. As my baby becomes a preschooler and my oldest is two years away from middle school, I have turned into a nostalgic pile of mush if the right milestone memory crosses my mind.
It’s not the big things that open the floodgates. It’s the seemingly inconspicuous moments that I never thought to take note of. The last 2am bottle and subsequent snuggles. The last time you have to help feed them. The final ride in the infant car seat. The last diaper change.
Diaper changes: the required part of parenting that we secretly dread. That one hit me the hardest recently — I realized after the fact that our diaper days are over. While this means there are no more 3am soggy wake ups, it also means there are fewer excuses to sneak the baby into our bed. No diapers mean less time on the changing table, which means fewer chances for belly raspberries. These are not big things, but they are the moments that when my baby is an eye-rolling teenager I’m going to need to recall to keep from losing my cool.
I didn’t know it was happening when it happened, but now it’s over and that chapter of our lives has ended. If you told me 10 years ago I’d get weepy at the thought of this door closing, I would have laughed in your face, but here I am, two kids later and yeah, I’m welling up as I type this. The emotions of motherhood are a blast.
With the “lasts,” though, come the “firsts.” The first day of preschool, the first ‘real’ conversation they have with you when you get to experience things through their eyes for the first time. Time goes on, and the cycle will continue: preschool will turn to kindergarten, mommy and me playdates turn to sleepovers, the extra-long hugs on the first day of school turn into a quick hug before the bus comes and their friends may see.
Whether they’re 3 or 33, our babies will always be our babies. We’d make ourselves crazy trying to mark and notate all of the ‘well this could be important’ milestones. But I’m going to try. I’m going to try to stay calm when she wants to “help” make her lunch, which will add 15 minutes to our routine because in the not so distant future she won’t be home for lunch and she won’t need my help.
On the bright side, the money earmarked for diapers can easily be rolled over into mommy’s Dunkin’ budget.
