I knew I wanted to have a child shortly after my husband and I fell in love. It sounds cliché to say, but it wasn’t until then that I could really see myself taking care of a little human being and sharing the journey of parenting with someone. During our four years of dating and two years of marriage, we talked at length about the right time to expand our family. I was very clear that I only wanted one child.
Fast forward to now, more than seven years after the day we met, and the proud parents of a fifteen month old little boy and a 4 year old dog. Our lives are chaotic on an every day basis. As a full time working mom, wife, daughter, and sister, there are days that I can’t imagine anything else on our plates. It’s a challenge to get everyone fed, dressed, and out the door at 8:12 every morning – and a bonus if everyone has a smile on their face in the process. Yet, I have this feeling deep inside of me that our family isn’t complete. I’ve tried fighting it off (with all the rational explanations of how unbelievably insane life would be with another child) and have even found myself trying to savor and accept my sons milestones as the last “firsts.” The feeling inside of me is a crazy mix of emotions (albeit some hormonal) that bounces back and forth from excitement to nerves to fear to exhaustion and back to excitement in one fell swoop. Sometimes, I can actually have all of these feelings on the subject in a matter of a few hours.
On a day where everything is running smoothly (a semi healthy and adequately tasting dinner is cooking in the oven, the laundry has gone through the drier fewer than three times, my email inbox is under 350, and the list of things to do is hovering plus or minus six) I am all about adding another child to our lives. On the days when it’s not, I can’t even imagine how all the multiple child bearing mamas are getting by! There are people who say that “you’ll know when the time is right,” but I’m not exactly sure if that’s true. Here’s a synopsis of the discussions between my husband and I on the topic:
ME: He needs a sibling!
HIM: We’re just coming out of the fog now and we would be starting all over again.
ME: I can’t handle anything else right now.
HIM: We’re not getting any younger and it will be nice if they are close in age.
ME: What’s one more?
HIM: How will we pay for two in daycare? What about college? Can’t we just get another dog?
ME: I can already feel our house being too small.
HIM: We’re not first timers, it will be easier.
ME: Our child is an angel, what if the next one is a terror?
HIM: What if it’s twins? (OUR BIGGEST FEAR IS BEING OUTNUMBERED!)
We’re both very rational people and have talked at length about out our feelings on the subject.
Having a second child is a decision that we’re not taking lightly. How did you know that it was time to expand your family or call it complete? We want to hear from you!