We’re Not Doomed To Fail

0

social media screams “momming is the worst”

“the kids won’t eat, the house is a mess, next time wine first?”

we paint a picture of our kids holding shields and wielding swords

pick up our phones, “like” another post that strikes a chord

we’re setting ourselves up to fail, believe it or not

what we think is innocent camaraderie quickly starts to rot

it eats at our minds and it eats at our hearts

we wake up just longing for a fresh start

“you can’t do it, it’s too hard” we believe the lie

and before we know it, the days are flying by

we’re here, but we’re not, we’re just managing stress

we don’t realize that if we try, we could offer our best

we could get up, get dressed, and aim for the sky

both we and our children could actually fly

I started writing this post about 6 different times.  I was not intending any sort of poem or rhyme, but I was finding myself stuck in my explanations.  So, here I am, ready to share on a topic that has been heavy on my heart.

You’ve seen the mom memes.  You know the ones I’m talking about.  The ones that paint motherhood as this impossible task; this giant, hairy, scary beast that must be joked about and mocked.  Sure, the jokes are funny and we can all certainly resonate with someone else sharing about their toddler who today hates the food that they loved yesterday or the pre-pubescent 11-year-old who is a ticking time bomb.  But when we aren’t careful, those memes and that seemingly innocent camaraderie can turn into something else.  We end up with a mindset towards motherhood that is unhealthy for us and for our kids.

Is motherhood hard?  Yes, it is and I am not for one moment downplaying that.  But hard doesn’t equal bad.  Hard doesn’t equal impossible.  Hard offers an opportunity for growth and for learning, for failures that teach us how to thrive next time.  Hard is a reminder that we aren’t all that and that we need help.  Hard is good for us!

Maybe you haven’t noticed it in the same way I have, but social media has created this vortex of a failure mentality surrounding motherhood.  Memes and posts and jokes abound painting motherhood as some 18-year prison sentence that we can’t wait to be over with.  And perhaps you never intended to be a mom, and you don’t enjoy it much, but I know for me, I COULD NOT WAIT to be a mother.  I longed for children long before my husband and I were married and it was my dream to be a stay-at-home mom.  And now, if I am not careful, I find myself cursing the very situation that I prayed to God for.

I think it all points to a larger societal problem that I won’t get into here (I will spare you all – ha!), but if this has been weighing on your heart, too, you are not alone!

So the next time our kids are driving us crazy and we want to hide behind our phones and joke and complain about it with another momma, maybe instead we can take a deep breath and pivot; do something completely unexpected by our kids (and ourselves!), change and better the tone of the hour.  And let’s not let it stop with us.  Let us be encouragers of other mommas that are drowning underneath this “failure is the only option” view of motherhood.  Let’s cheer one another on!   

So who is with me and ready to go big in the way of striving for our motherhood?  Knowing, of course, that it is going to be difficult, that we are going to fall and fail and it will be messy, but believing that it is all apart of the refining process and IT IS GOOD!