41 and Pregnant: Episode 2

Previously on 41 and Pregnant: Gigi anxiously awaited her first ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy and hoped that there was only one healthy fetus in there. Also Gigi pretended she wasn’t going to go crazy on Pinterest and alleged this baby would sleep in a laundry basket.

There is so much that you forget from pregnancy to pregnancy, and I have not been great about asking questions. While I can’t necessarily blame the OB’s office, they could do a bit more to explain the process instead of assuming I just know. One thing that you rarely want to to be surprised by is a transvaginal ultrasound, amiright ladies? So there I was, having planned my outfit to be belly-accessible, and instead was directed to get naked. I would have showered if I’d known. Whoops!

My embarrassment and shock at having this type of ultrasound was quickly replaced by anxiety over how many fetuses the tech was going to find. I made her look and look and look, and there is only one in there. To say I was relieved would be the understatement of the century. Don’t get me wrong, I love my twins and there is so much that is special about being a mom of multiples. However. The infant stage with twins was the single hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, and I sincerely don’t think I could do it again.

After I got dressed, it’s possible I hugged the ultrasound tech. She didn’t seem to mind.

Since that appointment, it seems like all I’ve done is go to medical appointments. Oh, or throw up, or sleep. That’s my life: at all times I’m likely to be to be doing one of those three things. Medical professionals toss around really complimentary terms like “advanced maternal age” and “geriatric pregnancy.” I had the pleasure of taking the one hour glucose test at 10 weeks because my sugar was high when they drew my blood at 6 weeks. (“Of course it was high! All I’d eaten for three days was Saltines!” I shrieked at the nurse. She suggested I have a high protein breakfast of eggs, and I had to put the phone down and vomit in the sink because I thought about eggs. It was not awesome.) 

I passed that glucose test, but get to enjoy another experience at 16 weeks. Lucky me. I keep trying to tell myself that the glucose drink is just like a melted freeze-pop, so it’s totally delicious! This lie does not work.

I was also strongly encouraged to do the Panorama genetic blood test. The co-pay is apparently $750, but like some back-alley knockoff designer handbag dealer, they call you and ask if you’d like to pay $250 cash and keep the insurance out of it. I am still waiting for the call, but I hope the guy has a raspy voice like every mob boss ever and says “just between us, a couple of C-notes, eh?” The reason I’m still waiting for the call is that the first time they did the test, they didn’t get enough fetal cells, which means nothing other than I get to wait longer and get stuck with more needles. Seriously, the joys of pregnancy are neverending!

Meanwhile, because of the genetic testing, we get to find out gender super early, so of course, I planned a whole reveal party and invited people. I might have gone on Pinterest and gotten sucked in…There’s a theme and some elaborate decorations and reveal plans. And now, three weeks after the first genetic test and a week after the second, we’re waiting and waiting and waiting on the test results and the phone call from the wheeling and dealing mob boss. 

What I have not done is Marie Kondo the crap out of anything. Rather than gutting my walk-in closet and making a baby haven, I have been doing one of my top three activities at all times (doctor appointment, throwing up, sleeping). My son ran out of pants for school the other day, and my daughter might actually be tired of mac-n-cheese. Maybe by the next episode, I’ll have overcome the “morning” sickness, found some energy, cooked something, cleaned something, and learned the gender of our baby. 

Whew, that list is overwhelming. I think I need a nap.