…And Don’t Even Get Me Started on That Elf!

A few months ago I confessed my hatred of Disney theme parks, so I’m sure I’ll earn a few more enemies with this: I loathe everything about the Elf on a Shelf, and I cannot understand why so many of you love it! I don’t understand the justifications for it, either. Here’s what I’ve heard, and why I disagree:

1. It creates magic.

No, it creates lies. There is nothing magical about telling your kids that a toy comes to life and behaves mischievously while they sleep. I absolutely understand that there is no fundamental difference between the Elf on a Shelf and Santa, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. And yes, we do engage in those things in my household. However, I have mixed feelings about those, too, because when we leave stuffed stockings or filled baskets for our kids from a fake being, we are lying to them. I asked my own mother about this once and she said she had similar mixed feelings, and that when we would look for confirmation that Santa was real, she would reply, “Well, what do you think?” instead of outright lying to us. 

Once my children start questioning the existence of any of these beings, I will likely take a similar approach. To me, Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are so pervasive in our culture that skipping them would have been nearly impossible. However, the Elf on a Shelf is a relatively new tradition, and I refuse to embrace it. Skipping it has been nearly effortless. The kids have asked why we don’t have one and have occasionally begged me to buy one. But, my response has always been, “That’s not something that we do,” and they’ve accepted that explanation easily. 

2. It’s harmless fun.

I disagree that it’s either harmless or fun. I’ve seen so many posts of the Elf making snow angels in a pile of powdered sugar, or swinging from chandeliers. What would happen to your child if he or she did the same? Would you laugh and joyfully clean up the powdered sugar? How mad would you be about your destroyed light fixture (and how worried would you be about your injured child)? I think it creates a mixed message that kids can’t be expected to separate from parental expectations of them. 

Additionally, the Elf lore claims that the elf loses its magic if the children touch it. Much like Santa and the whole “lump of coal if you’re naughty” thing, this is a way to control behavior. If I’m going to control my children’s behavior though, there are much more logical ways to do it that are far more effective than paying $39.95 for a doll they can’t play with.

As for it being fun, well, I’m exhausted at the end of the day, and the last thing I can imagine wanting to do is make a mess that I’ll have to clean up the next day. I do think a lot of the Elf ideas are creative and funny, but there are just as many that are crass or messy or extremely time-consuming. I can’t always remember to set the coffee pot, so I can’t fathom having to plan an Elf idea. It’s one thing to have to remember to fill an Easter basket or stocking on the eve of a big holiday, but to have to remember to create a tableau every night for a month? Sorry, but that’s not my idea of fun.

3. It gets us in the spirit of the season.

Charlie Brown would be so upset about this additional commercialization of the season. Enough said.

4. But my kids love it.

My kids love a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean we do them. As the parent, that’s kind of the whole point. If I let them do everything they loved, they’d spend all of their waking hours eating Nutella out of the jar while watching kids on YouTube unwrap toys.

In the end, every family has their own unique holiday traditions. That’s one of the things I love so much about hearing from others about how they celebrate. What makes your holidays festive and special is up to you, but for me, the Elf just isn’t part of it.