Why We Don’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day

You can find something truly important in an ordinary minute. – Mitch Albom

January: the wonderful time where we bid adieu to the craziness that is the holiday season and welcome the calm of the New Year. Until that diaper-clad cherub rears his little head.  Now don’t take this the wrong way; I’m not a Valentine’s Day cynic, but I will not be purchasing any mushy cards for my husband.

My husband and I have been together for a million years; 10(ish) if we’re counting. When things were new and we were putting in the effort, we did Valentine’s Day the typical way. There were cards, flowers, candy, and fancy dinners out. That seems like a lifetime ago. Now we have two wonderful girls and no free time.

This is not to say our relationship has fizzled–quite the contrary. We have weathered our share of storms and come out dry on the other side. But I’m still not buying him a heart-shaped box of chocolate. I used to be let down when February 14^th would come and go with no acknowledgment from him. Then it hit me. We don’t need a designated day to show each other how much we care for each other.

I’ve grown to appreciate the small things: bringing me home a coffee without having to ask, vacuuming so I come home to a clean house after a late meeting, cleaning the snow off my car at 5am before he leaves for work. These are the things that make me happy; the things that remind me that he is thinking about me even when we’re not together. As time has gone on, I’ve realized that we do not have the typical relationship. We’re not a lovey-dovey couple. There’s no “I love you” at the end of every phone call or sweet “thinking of you” texts during the day. This is real life. We argue, we yell, but we also love each other for reasons that sometimes we may not even understand. 

We’ll get the pretty pink cupcakes for dessert that night, but there’s no candlelit dinner on our calendar, no diamond earrings coming my way. Our Valentine’s Day will be spent with our girls, doing homework, reading endless bedtime stories and probably falling asleep on the couch by 9pm. I will love my husband as much on the 15^th as I did on the 13^th, and no card from Hallmark will change that.

Do I think celebrating love is silly? No, of course not; but in our house, it’s silly to think that stepping out of our comfort zone for one day is going to change anything. We’ll still be the same two weirdos that decided to give it a shot all those years ago.

But you better believe I’ll be stocking up on heart-shaped Reeses as soon as those sales start.