Family traditions have a way of imprinting on you. Things happen a certain way for long enough, and suddenly they are ‘tradition’. The goods parts and the bad, they stick with you, and then, it’s just what you do, forever. They’re what connects us as a family. With my dad’s side of the family, we have always celebrated on Christmas Eve. My Gram had 5 children, who all had children, and each year we would pile, first into their farmhouse, and then into the apartment where they later lived. She always told anyone who’d listen that she had the best family that anyone could ask for and I have to agree with her. Some of my best memories were in the crowded in-law style apartment. It was the one day of the year that cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and even great-grandparents gathered to celebrate the holiday together. My grandfather would tell us that the chirping in the tree was a little bird that he put in there and we would scour the tree looking for it. My grandmother would recount her latest Trinity Rep show. All the Aunts would get a Snowflake ornament from the MET from my grandmother, and all the cousins waited patiently until we were old enough to start getting them too. We always knew we’d get new dresses from one Aunt, slippers from another, and books from an Uncle. We would play for hours with cousins. We would all pile into cars to go to a candlelight church service. I loved every minute of Christmas Eve. Well, ALMOST every minute.
I can still feel the dread that I felt as a kid when the adults would say “Ok kids, it’s time to eat.” My Gram was raised in a Swedish household and we stuck to traditional dishes. Usually food is one of the best parts of any holiday, but not a Swedish Christmas Eve. We had pluckafus (fish with potatoes), sil (raw fish), seafood newburg (seafood soup) and potatiskorv (boiled sausage that can be served hot or cold). As a kid we hated all of these foods and I’m still not a fan to this day. We did have Swedish meatballs that, if I’m being honest, were the only reason we didn’t starve that night every year! That and the pizza the older cousins ordered from my aunt’s portion of the house, upstairs!
Even with the painful memories of awful food, that night was always one of my favorite nights of the year! Some might think it was because of presents but actually, it was because it was one of the only times of the year that my entire family got together. We all came together, ate bad food and just enjoyed being together! Over time, I began to realize that most of the adults weren’t fond of the food either, but that’s the thing with traditions: they stick around, and usually, the good outweighs the bad.
Over the years our Christmas Eve tradition has changed for our family. The location has changed a couple times, we added some ‘real’ food to the menu and some family has moved away. We’ve added to our numbers with the birth of a new generation, and we’ve lost beloved family members too soon. While it isn’t the same as it was when we were growing up, it still holds a special place in my heart. Christmas Eve is a longstanding tradition that I’m excited to be sharing with my daughter now.
Between last Christmas and now, after 92 years on this earth, my Gram passed away. I know Christmas Eve will be different this year, and I know it will be hard. It is the true test of traditions all over the world: do they withstand the death of those who began them? Or do they wither and wilt into a “Remember when…”? Our Turner Christmas Eve plans are in full swing, and while we’ll miss our matriarch, I can’t think of one family member willing to let this tradition wither, wilt, or anything of the sort. I will, however, continue to pass on the pluckafus- that’s definitely part of the tradition I just can’t give up!
Trinity Rep explodes with activity that feeds the soul and inspires dialogue through unparalleled theatrical experiences. Recognized nationally for excellence and innovation, and cherished locally for high quality and diverse programming, we are proud to be a creative home for Rhode Island’s artists, audience, students, and community partners. Trinity Rep’s annual production of A Christmas Carol has been a Rhode Island family holiday tradition for more than four decades.
